Back in 2002, I completed my BA in Communication, but still had veteran’s benefits left to spend. Considering how expensive college is coupled with the competitive public relations/marcom field, I decided to sign up for master’s classes in 2010. With these incredible benefits I basically get free school. The only things I have to pay for are fees and books. Pretty amazing, right? All it took was a four year commitment to defend our country. Not too shabby if I do say so myself.
Now, as I round the corner of my final full semester, I’m a little freaked about what I’ve committed to do. Instead of a comprehensive test or a master’s thesis like most normal people would do, I foolishly jumped right in to unknown territory. I decided to illustrate and write a children’s book.
What the hell was I thinking? I mean, I write for a living, but it’s all about space and NASA. To make things somewhat simple for me, I decided that the book will be about space. At least I know a little bit about that. Talking about space to little kids is something I’ve done for years.
The writing isn’t the hard part, though.
I have done quite a bit of graphics design in my career, but never have I drawn real characters. I’m so nervous about failing at this that I have yet to even plug in my newfangled graphics pen pad that my advisor so graciously lent me to complete this monstrous task. It sits there in its fancy box on my desk, taunting me, teasing me to foolishly attempt to draw something. It’s like my very own tell-tale heart.
My fear of failure is so much that I will do any other task to avoid plugging this device in and committing to drawing that first line. Last night, I worked on sewing my daughter a princess gown with no pattern – poufy sleeves and all. I tweeted, I watched Idol. Had a little champagne. But I just couldn’t bring myself to start the design process.
The worst part of all of this is that I know I can do it. I’ve drawn faces and painted all my life. I’m just a little rusty. And I have the world’s cutest model living right in my own house. She is the star of the book, my Princess Ava. Her love of all things pretty and her love of space inspired me to do this in the first place. I can’t let her down, right?
With two weeks into the semester already, the schedule is slipping fast. While working under pressure is where my best products originate, this probably isn’t the best project to procrastinate on. I have deadlines to meet and progress to report. Ugh!
Why is getting started always the hardest part? Next to finishing, of course.
Jana@AnAttitudeAdjustment says
So glad I found your blog! I think your children’s book idea is great. I’ll be rooting for you. And I can’t draw worth a damn. But I can read….
admin says
Thanks Jana! Drawing it is the hardest part, but I’m making some good progress. Hopefully I’ll get the nerve to show off some of my comps.