I know the title of this blog is “Average Super Mom.” I also know that I don’t write a lot about being a mom. Probably the reason is that I’m a bit protective of Ava. She is my world and there are people out there from my past that don’t deserve to know about how wonderful she is. But, screw them. I’m raving about my sweet daughter tonight. Screaming her praises as loud as I can.
Ava is amazing. I know all kids are amazing, but this little girl lights up a room. She’s shy and outgoing all at once. And everyone she encounters (that isn’t an asshole) is absolutely taken by her. I’m smitten with my daughter.
Every night I check on her before I go off to sleep myself. I creep into her room quietly and open her squeaky door. She always looks so peaceful, so beautiful. Her skin is a lovely peach tone. Tiny freckles are sprinkled across her nose and high on her cheeks. The strawberry blonde, delicate, but wild curls cascade around her angel face. When she’s awake, she has these piercing blue eyes that you can’t avoid engaging. She’s a killer beauty. A natural. And a very old soul.
I love so many things about her. I love that when her eight year old friend down the street isn’t home when she knocks on the door, that she’s perfectly content hanging with her mom. She’s as comfortable with adults as she is children. And does she ever love babies. Ava is so caring and loving and sweet with babies. If only I could commit to giving her a brother or sister to love as much…
I do think about having another baby sometimes, but I’m just not ready. I love her so much that I just don’t want to share that love with another child. It is selfish on my part, but I’m not sure I could handle the overwhelming love for a third person (the second being CW). And I know how much she would love that little baby, how much she desperately wants more family around her. I’ve never had that privelage so I know how she feels. She’s made friends with the twins in her class: a girl and a boy. Her fascination with their relationship is heartwrenching. She told me that she knows why they can’t sit together in class. It’s because they talk to each other so much, that they have to be kept apart to focus. She’s clearly jealous of their closeness.
Sometimes I look at her and see our lives flash by. I see the first boyfriend, the love, the heartbreak, the mean girls, graduation, college, her blossoming beauty, becoming an adult, marriage, children, her humanity. Her future overwhelms my emotional capacity. She’s an amazing being. I’d love to know who she was before this life. Sometimes I feel I knew her before. I know for a fact I will know her long after this life ends. She is amazing. And I am so very greatful for her existence.
P.S.) I didn’t cry until I typed the last word. Score!