The great headband incident

Why would someone want to make her cry?

Ava was BFFs with a little girl at after school care for several weeks who, one day, decided she didn’t like Ava anymore. Ava was crushed. She said she didn’t do anything to provoke this behavior and still wanted to be friends.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. What makes it OK for kids to be so flippant with each other? I wonder if parents bother to teach them empathy at all. Who do they learn this asshole behavior from?

Anyway, the little girl got mean. She splashes water in Ava’s face at the water fountain, pulls her hair, makes fun of her relentlessly and makes her cry all the time. I told Ava that she just needs to avoid her, but in that small setting it is hard. And it doesn’t help that the little girl will be nice to Ava one minute and then turn on her the next.

Well, earlier this week, Ava had enough. They were playing on the playground at after school care and the girl said something mean to Ava. Ava then took her headband, broke it in half and stuffed it in the storm drain. This is completely uncharacteristic for her. She says they were playing beneath the playground structure where the teachers couldn’t see. This in itself is a big problem.

I heard about the “headband incident” from Ava’s kindergarten teacher two days later. The mean girl’s mom apparently called her and told her what Ava did. I assume her daughter told her it happened at school or told her who’s class she is in. Who knows? But even Ava’s teacher was shocked because she just doesn’t do things like this. When she told me about it I had a feeling it was this particular kid and my instincts were right.

So, I have to talk to the after school “teacher” again about paying attention to what these kids are doing on the playground. And Ava has been so upset about this little girl that she wants to move to another after school care facility.

Ava knows what she did was wrong and even suggested we by the mean girl a new headband to make up for what she did. I’m proud of her for that. And I’m proud of her for doing something about that kid constantly pushing her around. But destroying her property is unacceptable.

Besides having to deal with yet another school drama, the worst part of it all is that this is just the beginning. We have at least eleven more years of this crap to deal with.

Comments

  1. It sounds to me what this little girl is doing could be considered bullying. It’s so bad in school these days. I have had the same problem at my kids old school… As much as it’s not nice to destroy someone else’s property good for Ava for sticking up for herself. I think, the biggest problem is the lack of supervision. Again, a problem I encountered myself. My son was thrown on the ground and hit his head on the concrete and no one was around to see it… it happened in PE class!!! I hope, you’ll be able to get this resolved.
    Susi recently posted..Bringing you… The Biggest Giveaway of the Year!!!

    • Hi Susi,
      I’m so hesitant to use the word bully, but I hear you. I just don’t see why these after school care teachers are not watching the kids. It takes a split second for a kid to do something bad. They have to be watched. I’m sorry to hear what happened to your little guy. Boys are so physical with their aggression.

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