Perpetual Reinvention

I hope you are sitting down because I am about to shock you. Ready? I used to wear obnoxiously colored capris pants and I thought they looked good. I’m so ashamed. What the hell was I thinking dressing up like a resident of Del Boca Vista at the ripe young age of 25? The worst part is that the crazier the print, the more I liked them. Paired with a solid color t-shirt and topped with a denim jacket I thought I was the shit.

I hang my head in shame.

How far I had come from the combat boots and torn pantyhose girl from the early ‘90s. I had traded my Jane’s Addiction t-shirt collection in for elderly resort wear. Why? Maybe I was trying to be preppy? Or I thought that I looked all grown up? Who knows, but I’m glad there is no photographic evidence of me in any of my crazy pants. And those pants were just a blip on the radar of my ongoing self-reinvention.

Reinvention is a recurring practice in my life. Not just with my clothing, but my hair, my body, my career and personal life. I have pulled myself up by the bootstraps on so many occasions that changing my style each time helped me cope. If I had a new life, I needed a new look to go with it.

The biggest reinvention came after my breast reduction surgery in 2000. You see, them suckers had gotten out of control and something needed to be done. Standing at all of 5’1” with hooters the size of my head just made me look ridiculous, and kind of like a nerdy porn star. Prior to my metamorphosis, I wore blousy tops and fitted bottoms. Nothing ever hugged my frame. I wore my hair very long to have a veil to hide my shame. But after the surgery? I set those new boobies free. Low cut shirts (tasteful ones) and form fitting dresses were the norm. I even wore a bikini with no cover up that summer. Not to mention my fun times on Bourbon Street. It was such a wonderful thing. It still is.

Looking back I can see how much my self confidence centered on my chest, especially when I was a teenager. We moved a lot when I was young. It was hard enough being the new girl in school every 6-8 months or so, but with that rack it was exponentially worse. The rumors were atrocious. Mean girls in the 7th grade spread rumors that I had to move because I had gotten pregnant (hence the huge knockers). I ran into this problem at every school I moved to and it got to the point where I just stopped trying to convince anyone otherwise, but the teasing stuck with me for a very long time.

When the back pain started I decided it was time to investigate options. The surgery wasn’t really all that bad and now, I’m proportionate. What was once the focus of so much ridicule is now my most prized asset. They are fabulous. My, how far I’ve come.

What reinventions have you gone through in your life? Was there a life-changing transformation that opened up a new world for you?