Top 10 social (real) life lessons

Probably one of the worst lessons I learned from my Dad is that people are disposable. If someone pisses you off or doesn’t quite gel with you, blow them off because there are tons of other people out there. Sounds good in theory, right? Well, no, not really. This lesson was ingrained in me from a very early age. It had a serious impact on my social skills and ability to retain friendships. Most of all, it affected my personality. I never felt that I had to take responsibility for my actions because people were either going to like me or not.

All this did was give me a very small social circle.

Only recently, in the past couple of years have I learned that this is not a good way to walk through life. What is sad is that it’s too late to fix a lot of lost friendships and missed opportunities. People have moved on and I’m embarrassed for the way things turned out. While it’s typical for me to stew on these experiences, I realize that it’s best to learn from them and move on. So what have I learned from all of this? Well, here are my top 10 social life lessons…

1. Cherish the people who come into your life.
We are lucky to have each other, seriously. It is sad when you don’t realize how much someone means to you until they are gone. Make sure they know every day where they stand in your life. In a very short instant they, or you, could be gone.

2. Everyone has their own back-story.
If someone does you wrong, take stock in the fact that there may be more to it than what’s on the surface. Everyone has baggage. We’ve all been hurt in one way or another. Take that to heart and vow to dig a little deeper the next time someone upsets you.

3. Nobody’s perfect.
This is just a simple fact. We all make mistakes, we all have flaws. While you may have made mistakes, understand that others do, too. Forgive people for the small things.

4. Appreciate different personalities for who they are.
Our personalities are what make us humans so unique. Everyone has one. Some are good, some aren’t, but I feel that in the long run everyone has good intentions.

5. Say you’re sorry when you are wrong.
While you may fundamentally believe something you’ve done or said someone was the right thing to do, if it upset someone, reconsider your actions. Maybe your approach was too brash. Maybe you said something you shouldn’t have. Man-up and apologize – you’ll both feel better for it.

6. Stand up for yourself when it’s necessary.
There’s no need to be a doormat just because you want to be friends with everyone. Sometimes you just need to let people know when they’ve upset you. Taking an adult approach is the best way to convey your feelings. If they don’t respond kindly, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.

7. Trust unless and until given an alternative.
Trust can be tricky. Sometimes it’s best to give a little to get a little in return. This doesn’t mean telling your deepest, darkest secrets to strangers. Just dip a toe in the water and see if it’s reciprocated.

8. The world is a small place.
This is so true. Be careful of burning bridges. It seems like enemies pop up in the most unlikely of places. Like in the apartment next door or at a job interview. But those are stories for another day …

9. Actions speak louder than words.
Smile, open doors, send thank you notes, remember a birthday. The fact is, people matter and paying attention is the best way to show that they matter to you.

10. Know when to cut ties.
All this boils down to is that you can’t be friends with everyone. Sometimes all the niceties, friendliness, respect, etc., just isn’t enough for some people. You can give and give and some people will just take and take. And then there are others who are too self-centered to notice. Don’t waste your time with ungrateful people. Move on to bigger and better things in your life. After all, you aren’t disposable, either.

I’ve learned all of these lessons the hard way, but I think I’m a much better person for it. Do you have any life lessons to keep your social life on the right track?