Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat. Just not too fast or you’ll pass out. But wouldn’t passing out be kind of like napping? That’s not so bad. Is it?
Sigh.
The past couple of weeks, I have been running hard. Well, emotionally, not physically – that’s a whole other issue.
Sigh.
Twice recently have I had to run through an airport as the gate chick was paging me. Twice. I’m perpetually two hours early for every flight I take. On the way back from New Mexico, I literally ran from my rental car, keys in the ignition and yelled, “E-mail me my receipt, please!” as I bolted to get my back checked in time.
I absolutely hate to be rushed, but it seems like my MO these days. Everything I do is at such a frantic pace that I can’t find the time to enjoy the little things.
But I’m trying.
Sigh.
Even my friends have noticed that I seem distracted. I’ve started to feel like I’m overwhelmed. Like I have too many commitments and I’m doing nothing well. I’m starting to wonder when I will break. It’s not a matter of ‘if’ anymore. Something’s gotta give.
I’m thankful for everyone in my life and for their patience. So far, nobody has left me nasty messages or hate mail because I’m too overwhelmed to answer the phone. So far.
Sigh.
In the meantime, I’m hanging in there, letting projects pile up and to-do lists gather dust.
I find solace in my quiet time after Ava has gone to sleep. I try to recharge. Have a glass of red and clear my head for a few minutes. And then sleep for a bit before it all begins again.
Sigh.
I feel like that a lot too. I was thinking my time management skills are non existent anymore, Lol. It sometimes feels that the less I try to do, the less time I have so oh well; I do squeeze in a glass of wine with dinner. It’s a mini retreat from chores and child rearing..lol.
I like your blog Sean!
Karen
I could have written the same thing. I 100% feel your pain. The overachieving style has always fit me well, but this overachieving mommy gig is just a little too much for me. But I can’t seem to say no. I’m a mom, a wife, I work full time, I’m a girl scout co-leader, committee chair for the photography and communications committees on the PTO, working on my MBA, and trying to grow my photography skills to hopefully one day have a business. Geez….wears me out just thinking about all of it. And sadly I have let my workouts suffer because of all of it. I’m lucky if I make it to the gym 3 times a week these days.
I don’t know what the point of my comment was…I guess I just needed to vent!
Time and energy the two items we underestimate the need for yet always run out of. Even if you make the time we show up energy zapped. We know we have to focus on ourselves but that ironically
takes time and energy! Sean you are doing great taking on something new that you love just means you have to clean out your mental closet of what you do not need anymore!