When I grow up

Remember back in the day, teachers, parents, friends, friends’ parents, the mailman, would all ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Pressure? Yes, much.

Especially because I’m 35 and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. You see, I never got to be anything growing up. I would start taking ballet, or make the cheerleading squad or land a great role in the school play and my dad would decide it was time to move again. None of my talents ever had the chance to be cultivated. At every new school I went to, there were kids known for what they did best, but I never had the chance. Other than being smart, I never had much more.

When I got accepted to UT (hook ’em) my senior year of high school, I was in heaven. Austin is amazing and back in ’93 it was pretty freakin’ sweet. But, my dad had other ideas. He refused to pay for it. And refused to sign any financial aid forms. And you know what he told me? “You’re too small to go off to a big school like that.” Dreams. Crushed.

So I did what any self-respecting free spirit would do – I ran away and got hitched. Oh yeah, that’ll teach him! Right…

Realizing I had done the dumbest thing ever, I fled my white trash situation, filed for divorce and joined the Air Force. I had my pick of jobs, but I wanted to leave ASAP. So, I was given the choice of Space Operator or Dental Hygienist. Um… yeah, not a hard choice. And that’s how my space career started.

I loved the Air Force. I try to tell myself that it was better than anything UT could have ever been (it makes me feel better, ok?). The best thing of all is that I met my husband there. We even shared an  office while we were living together and no one had a clue.

Now, the military has excellent education benefits and I went to school the whole four years I was in. I was working on the aerospace engineering track because that’s what I did for work. Everything was going great ’till I walked into Calculus I and then walked out of class 10 minutes later. I promptly changed my major to business.

So, from there I pursued businessy classes until I took accounting. I don’t think I failed it, but I probably should have.

Then I had a dilemma: what the hell should I do now? I walked into the counselor’s office and asked if I had enough hours to graduate with anything. She said, “You can get an AA in Social Science if you want.” Done and done.

After that semester my next option was pursuing a B.A. I had no idea what I wanted to do and the University of Houston-Clear Lake didn’t offer very many interesting things back in 2002. I looked at what sounded easy that I could finish fast. I could write and draw so I settled on Communications.

That’s right. I settled. I took the easiest degree path because 1. I was tired of going to school and 2. I didn’t really care. But then I grew to like it.

I weaned myself out of the technical spacey roles and into the public relations side of the house and that’s where I reside now. I don’t particularly like my current job, but it pays really well and I don’t have the drama I had at my last job.

It hasn’t been an easy road, and this isn’t my final destination, but here I am just the same and I’ve had a hell of a ride.