My little girl loves me. I think a little too much? But can you really love your momma too much?
She is very clingy with me. I would think that by four years old, she would be over the separation anxiety at daycare. We have good days and bad days. Take today for instance, I dropped her off and things were great. She didn’t even look at me to say goodbye. But, I had to go back to bring her lunch around 11:00 and the minute she saw me she ran over and latched on to my leg like a koala. Literally. I hugged her and kissed her and told her I love her and then the teachers had to peel her off of me. I looked back and she was dramatically reaching out for me crying, “Don’t leave, mommy!” Forever the drama queen.
Now, I love that she loves me, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that every time she does this it breaks my heart a little more. I can’t stay home with her full time. In order to pay all of our bills, both my husband and I have to work. That’s just the way it goes. I try to explain all of this to her, but she doesn’t care. She just wants her mommy. And I know my issue isn’t unique. This working mom vs. stay at home mom issue exists in most households these days. I love her so much, I really do, but I would go insane if I couldn’t do something constructive with my time. Now, I’m not saying that being a mother isn’t constructive; it totally and absolutely is constructive. I’m just saying that I personally have to create and be a productive member of society to maintain my sanity.
If I could make my business more viable and stay home with her I would definitely do that. But, I’ve got a long way to go before Whimsy Girls even turns a profit. Until then, or until my sweet little PR firm gets me a cushy gig I can do from home, this is the way it will be.
How do you deal with these meltdowns? How do you deal with the whole working mom vs. stay at home mom issue? Have you found your balance?
Those little heartbreaks are killer. My only word of comfort is that her behavior is very typical and totally age-appropriate. I know that doesn’t help though. Those breaks in routine are what can set off those episodes. I also work full-time. My issue is what time to pick up my youngest. Normally he likes to stay very late and be one of the last kids to leave but the other day he was complaining about why I don’t pick him up at carpool when school gets out. Can’t win.
It goes in stages for us. Most of the time Bella can’t stand to not be beside me. She will sit under my arm and tuck her legs under my legs to watch tv. If I get up, she’ll come with me. It’s fantastic. But every couple of days she climbs out of my back pocket and I get to forget for a day or so that she’s my barnacle. One day they won’t want to be near us (or at least that’s what I hear).
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