Dear person behind me in seat 6F,
I understand you are tired. I had to get up at 4:30 this morning to make this flight today. I bet you did, too. And I understand that you are trying to sleep on a plane and getting comfortable is difficult. You may have had a hard night last night. You do look a little rough, like it was a rocking party or a kick-ass concert. Taking the 7 a.m. flight to Phoenix probably wasn’t the smartest move on your part. Regardless, I do hope that whatever kept you up last night was totally worth it.
I get it, you’re kind of tall and all smooshed up back there in that tiny seat. Your jacket is too big and fluffy, and maybe you haven’t figured out how to loosen the seatbelt. And yeah, tray tables don’t make snuggly pillows, do they? It sucks. I get it.
What I don’t get is your incessant kicking, poking and slamming your head (I think?) against my seat back. I thought we were going through turbulence. Turns out, you’re just an inconsiderate a-hole. And yeah, I just turned around and made direct (evil) eye contact with you. You are lucky that’s all I did. But that is all I did. Why? Because I’m trying to be respectful of your time and your space. I’m being mindful of the fact that you are sleepy and tall and all smooshed-like with that ridiculous fluffy jacket. But what I really want to do is fling my boiling hot, bitter, airplane coffee over the seat in your general direction. But I won’t. Nope. Not today. Today, I’m going to lean forward a little more, enjoy my nasty airplane coffee and take in the gorgeous view of the Southwestern U.S. through my tiny scratched up and foggy window.
I hope that when you do arrive at your final destination, whether it be Phoenix like me, or on to Long Beach, you find a snuggly place to nap. Maybe the car ride to wherever you are going will be soothing enough to catch a good 20 minute snooze? For your sake, and for whomever you are meeting up with there, I most certainly hope so.
Bruised and battered in 5F
P.S. That big, ridiculous fluffy jacket might make a nice pillow. Try peeling it off next time and using it to rest your sleepy noggin against the window.